Entries by Terah Goerzen

I try not to be superstitious, but it seems that the adage "bad news comes in threes" is almost always true. Last week I learned why an employee at a school I work at was extra grumpy. Yeah, newly diagnosed liver cancer will do that to you! Then in church they announced that a relative had died (more cancer), leaving behind her son to be raised by other relatives. Then in church a man collapsed while his granddaughters were sharing about their summer service experiences. Turns out he had an aortic aneurysm, located in his lower back, resulting in some of his intestine needing to be removed. Not cancer, but I still think it should qualify for the third bad thing.

In two hours we are going to the much-anticipated Big Truck Night (scroll down) where Jacob can crawl in all kinds of Big Trucks and Farming Implements and Rescue Vehicles and Mail Trucks and School Busses. It will be very exciting!

Sometimes it's difficult to reconcile our continuing on with life when others experience such suffering.

Something is wrong with me, seriously wrong. First, we went on vacation and rented bikes. I rode 8 miles that day, the first time I was on a bike in ten years. And, yes, my butt hurt afterwards. Honestly, I don't like or enjoy exercise. What was I thinking?

Then John started talking about the MCC Flatlander and I decided that I could do it. So I signed myself up to do the 8 mile Family Ride. John's doing the 35 mile ride, so I don't even know anyone else who is riding. What in the world was I thinking?

From the brochure: It's "designed to provide an enjoyable bicycling experience for people at all fitness levels. The Flatlander is a benefit for Mennonite Central Committee. The goal for this year's ride is $7,350. Proceeds will go toward an MCC project of building cisterns in Guerrero, Mexico. During their dry season, residents of Guerrero have to travel miles to find water. The cisterns will provide access to clean water throughout the year. Over the next three years, MCC will assist in building 200 cisterns; $735 provides materials for one cistern."

Well, I can at least identify with the "all fitness levels" part. I'm struggling with the "enjoyable bicycle experience" part.

I purchased my first bike helmet of my life, so apparently I'm committed. Or should be committed. I better make sure my rescue inhaler hasn't expired.

So, yeah, if you want to help the cistern cause, you can give money to either John or me. If you want to join me in the 8 mile ride so I'll actually know someone and/or if you want to pull Jacob in a bike carrier to actually make it a "family ride", please let me know.

Also, you should probably keep my muscles and lungs in your prayers on September 20.

I like to shop for and give gifts. On the surface, that seems okay. But, when you think about how many relatives we have, the sheer number of gift-giving occasions that we have can be overwhelming.

John and I have:
1 child
6 parents
3 siblings
4 living grandparents
18 aunts & uncles (NOT including their spouses)
28 first cousins (NOT including their spouses)
11 children of first cousins

I know some people find it strange when we don't give our cousins presents when they have children or when we don't send anniversary cards to aunts & uncles. There are birthdays; graduations; weddings; baptisms; anniversaries; days for grandparents, mothers, and fathers; Christmas; etc.

We also have very few relatives who actually need anything.

If we budgeted for it, we could give a gift to all these people for all these occasions. But, really, that's excessive. John's extended family is smaller than mine, but it doesn't feel right to give his family gifts and not give them to my family.

So where do you draw the gift giving line? What is the goal in giving presents? I think that we often give gifts because of societal expectations or self-imposed pressures. I think that some see gift giving as an opportunity to "buy" love. ("If I spend this much money, then maybe they'll be grateful and like me more...")

In light of all that, and in an effort to be fiscally responsible & to separate ourselves from rabid consumerism, we have been trying to be more aware of our gift giving practices. Starting in January, we gave smaller gifts that cost less.

I just spent $15.54 on cards for family events in September: Grandparents' Day (x3), John's birthday (one from me & one from Jacob), John's brother's birthday, my Grandma's birthday, and a family friend's birthday. I skipped buying a card for John's co-worker's baby and just feel horrible about it. Who gives a gift without a card? Apparently I do, now.

I've been surprised at how difficult this has been for me. Giving gifts makes me happy; I like to give people things that make them happy. It is a challenge to be creative in finding meaningful gifts that fit our guidelines. But the larger issue has been that I find myself feeling obligated to spend a certain dollar amount or give something from a certain store. It appears that good old-fashioned American consumerism has a fairly strong influence on my spending habits.

(And, yes, I see the irony in posting about this just days after reminding people of Jacob's Amazon Wish List. In my defense, people really did ask for it. I'm only responsible for my own spending, not the spending of the people who want to give Jacob gifts!)

Today while browsing the children's section of my local thrift store, I suddenly found myself smiling. I had found an apple-green book with a classic 1950's illustration on the cover - a father reading the Bible to a son and daughter with a cat sitting at their feet. Nursery Stories of Jesus by Katherine Royer. This edition was the fourth, printed in 1985, and says that 70,500 copies are in print.

Suddenly I remembered the song, "Sing little children, sing, sing, sing little children, sing. God is good, He cares for you. Sing, little children, sing." After a quick online search at home, I learned that Katherine also wrote the Children's Songbook.

Who would have thought that a children's Sunday School series from 1957 would still be available in 2008? Now you can even get a CD of the Children's Songbook songs! But, I guess it makes sense, given that at least 20 years worth of 3-year-olds read and sang from these books.

Katherine and her sister, Mary, were my Sunday School teachers when I was three years old, but I don't remember them. My family lived in another state that year, volunteering with MVS. But, they made sure that I stayed connected to my church family - sending Sunday School lessons and even a small photo album of people in the church that I would know.

Hmmm.... I wonder if I still have any of their books? A visit to the basement may be in order!

I've had some inquires regarding what Jacob would want for his birthday. Jacob still has his Amazon wish list that is updated regularly. (button on the left side of this blog) I'd also point out that you can sort the list by price or priority. As always, you don't have to buy from Amazon, but this is a handy way to have some suggestions ready any time. If you do buy something from another source, you can always let me know and I'll take it off the Amazon list.

Thanks!

And while we're on the subject of toys...

We have some Melissa & Doug stuff, and I recently learned about Plan Toys. It's an environmentally conscious company that also makes wooden toys. Lots of fun, educational, and exciting things from both companies! Right now they are my favorite toy brands.

I've been reading the FAIL Blog recently. It's funny in a condescending sarcastic sort of way. My current favorites are the Sophistication Fail and the Extermination Fail.

It's possible that there might occasionally be something on the FAIL site that isn't work appropriate, but it's normally just fine.

Enjoy!

Monday was Jacob's first day in the Toddler Two room at daycare. Last week he had the chance to visit the new room and meet the new teachers. He seemed cautious about this change, as he is with every change, really. But, after I told him the five other kids that he knew who would also be moving to Toddler Two, he did smile.

I resisted the urge to call and check on his first day. I kept reminding myself that if there was a real problem, they'd be calling me.

When John picked Jacob up, Jacob pointed out that the daycare ceiling fans were indeed on, was very talkative, and happily said goodbye to all the staff. Which is good, but wasn't enough to calm me down when I read the three notes that were sent home and saw the 2.5 bite marks on Jacob.

It seems that a little girl wanted the toy Jacob was playing with. The teachers have actually been working with Jacob to defend his toys; you don't just let everyone grab stuff out of your hands. Jacob followed directions and held onto his toy. This irritated the girl so she bit Jacob. Judging from the marks, it looks like she clamped down, started to release, and clamped down again. Hence 1.5 of the bites. According to the teacher, Jacob looked very frustrated and then he bit himself. Hence the remaining 1 bite.

I know that biting is very common at this age and that it's really hard to get a child to stop biting. But, having Jacob so frustrated that he is biting himself, that left me very upset. Tuesday, I knew I was still too upset to have a rational conversation with the teacher. Wednesday, I pulled myself together and called the teacher, Ruby.

I identified myself and Ruby immediately started talking about the biting. She was obviously still upset that it happened. Ruby kept referring to The Biter and each time she said it, she sounded more disgusted. Jacob is so reserved at daycare and Ruby obviously shared my concern about Jacob being an easy victim. Ruby said that she hasn't had a biter in her room for several years and with Jacob's class there are several who bite.

My goal in calling was to have Ruby calm me down and reassure me that they are supervising the children. By the end of the conversation I felt the urge to reassure Ruby that things will get better! One thing is for sure: Ruby, Jacob, and I will all be pleased when these other kids stop biting!

I love reading Jotting Joan's blog posts. Actually, she writes for her local newspaper and then posts those articles on her blog. She writes in a way that connects to me. I love her perspectives and experiences! I found Joan's blog after her son left a comment on John's blog. Such a small electronic world we live in...

Joan recently featured an email exchange with me where I had asked for her macaroni and cheese recipe in response to her April 4, 2008, story. You can read it here.

Our return trip from Portland-Chicago-Newton required a one-night stay in Chicago because of the connections. I had grand plans of visiting Navy Pier while in Chicago, but we were out so late eating at Gino's East and were so tired from our Portland-Chicago train's air conditioning being broken, that we skipped it. We really need to just plan on spending a couple of days in Chicago sometime. Chicago's a great city, not as friendly as Portland, but still a great place to visit.

Our Chicago stay included: Gino's East, sleep, Einstein Brothers breakfast, walk 3 miles to Union Station (with a stop to play in a public fountain), wait for the train, get on train.

While waiting for our train, Jacob befriended a retired priest. The priest was also heading to Newton, so we saw him a lot in the station and on the train. Just before Jacob's bedtime I told the priest that when he heard screaming, that meant we were trying to get Jacob to sleep.

I had no idea how long the screaming would last. Off and on for two hours. At one point another passenger stopped at our seat, looked at the tag identifying where we'd get off, muttered "not until Newton", and walked back to his seat. Yeah, it was that bad. Several times Jacob was almost asleep and then would start awake yelling "ON TOOT! MORE BIG TOOT!" and generally crying. Finally we figured out that Jacob was reacting to our news that "when we eat breakfast in the morning we'll eat it at our house". He wasn't ready for his 12 days of riding trains to end.

After Jacob was finally asleep, the priest stopped by. "Poor boy had a tough time of it, didn't he." The priest made the sign of the cross over Jacob's sleeping body, said "God bless him", and walked away.

Generally Mennonites will say "May God bless you" or "May you feel God's blessing". This was more like a direct action from God - not a hope that blessing would occur, but rather an affirmative statement that God will bless right now. Poof!

I really felt God there in that brief moment of blessing. Suddenly, the stress of the previous two hours washed away and I was able to enjoy holding my sleeping boy. Jacob woke up several more times before we got to Newton. Each time he would sit up, look around, quietly say "on toot", and go back to sleep.

It's not very often that a Mennonite toddler is spontaneously blessed by a Catholic priest! It happened almost two weeks ago now and I still remember the feeling of that blessing moment. I find myself thinking about the blessing Jacob was given. Will we ever learn all that the blessing entailed?

Thank you, Father.

In July we had a 12-day vacation to Portland, Oregon. John went to attend and present at a conference. Jacob and I went to hang out in a cool city.

We took Amtrak there and back. Newton to LA. LA to Portland. Portland to Chicago. Chicago to Newton. And, while in Portland, we took their *free* light commuter rail, MAX. It was a lot of train, which suited Jacob just fine. He talked a lot about trains:

"More toot" "Big toot" "On toot" "Toot on" "Ride toot" "toot toot" "More big toot"

(For those keeping track, a regular toot is MAX and a Big Toot is Amtrak.)

While in Portland, Jacob and I did all kinds of things. We spent time at Barnes & Noble's children's section reading books and playing with their Thomas train table. We went to toddler story time at the Portland library. We went to the Museum of Science and Industry's very impressive Science Playground. We enjoyed blueberries and cherries at a farmers' market. We played in lots of fountains in city parks. And, we rode trains all over the place.

We also - to the amusement of hotel staff - spent time in the hotel lobby watching the three glass elevators go up and down. Did you know that elevators go "ding"? Jacob does!

And there was one morning that we spent in a laundry mat. There was no way that I was going to pack enough clothes for a toddler to be away from home for 12 days. Instead, we all packed 6 days of clothes, a Clorox bleach pen, a Tide To Go pen, and some quarters. When we got to the hotel, I stopped at the concierge desk. "I know that there's a hotel laundry service that charges $3 per shirt, but I will have a load of Toddler Laundry. Do you have any suggestions?" They provided directions to a very nice laundry mat.

This was the first time in years that I'd been inside a laundry mat. This laundry mat was exactly how I remembered them, except cleaner and they didn't have a candy machine. I also found it very interesting that while in this laundry mat there were 5 other customers and they were all male. Jacob spent time pushing the buttons on the pinball game and the pop machines, irritating some other customers who obviously didn't like children, amusing the owners who called their daughter to share about how cute he was, and repeatedly asking to make sure we were going to ride the train again.

While at home, we operate on a pretty set schedule. Up by 7, breakfast at 8, lunch at 11:15, nap at noon, up by 2, snack at 2:30, supper at 5:30, bedtime at 6:45. Yeah, we didn't even come close while on vacation. Often Jacob was up until 9 or 10 pm, but then sometimes the afternoon nap didn't even start until 3:00.

In the evenings, John often met up with other conference-going geeks for dinner, and Jacob and I would go along. When we travel, we like to eat at non-chain restaurants that are locally owned and something we're unlikely to get at home. We ate sea food, Portland-style pizza, vegetarian, Peruvian, Ben & Jerry's... Lots of good food! Jacob was especially loud and tired at the Peruvian restaurant, but luckily the place was so loud anyway so no one noticed him. Well, no one except the waitress when Jacob pinched her butt while she was taking another table's order. (Luckily she was amused!)

Often the other geeks would apologize to me that the dinner conversation was so technical. I'd tell them that's okay, I'm used to being in these situations by now. Then John would interject that he thinks I have some geek tendencies too, noting that I have a blog. Then I would tell John that having a blog is not an indication of being a geek. Even life-long farmers in Nebraska have blogs!

The thing that is most memorable from this trip is how wonderful Portland is. The city is clean, there's great public transportation, the people - from the cab drivers to random people on MAX to the hotel concierge - are universally friendly, there's a huge variety of things to do. This was the second time we've been to Portland, and there are still things that I still haven't visited that I would like to experience. Honestly, if you ever get a chance to visit Portland, make sure to go!

(Next up: Chicago)