Forest of the Plains

Part Two

With the end of nursing in sight, I faced a whole new set of challenges. Every time before when I stopped a specific nursing time, Jacob didn't seem to notice. When I went from two to one nursing per day, Jacob was very obvious about his discontent over the decreased nursing. It didn't help that he also got a bad double ear infection about the same time. He would pull at my shirt and cry when I didn't nurse him. (A couple of times I cried too.) He started biting my shoulder a lot and could be extremely defiant toward me, but was loving toward his dad. It was hard to not take it personally because it WAS personal. My breasts hurt and my baby was mad at me, and I knew that nursing would solve both issues. At the same time, I was excited about not having to nurse any more.

What a roller coaster! I was not at all prepared for those challenges. I started to actually like nursing and finally understood mothers who nursed their children for three years. Every time I nursed him, I got teared up. I asked John to take a picture of Jacob and me while we were nursing. I kept thinking, "I suffered through eleven months of nursing, only to suffer through not nursing?!?" I did not appreciate the irony one tiny bit.

We plowed ahead and eliminated the one remaining feeding. No more breast milk for Jacob.

Jacob became clingy to the point of being very annoying. I started heaping on praise when Jacob ate meals or drank his milk, and tried to spend extra time reading to him or doing other activities with him on my lap. We changed up the bedtime routine so that Jacob didn't see me immediately before sleeping. We also started doing more family outings/activities, hoping that Jacob would notice that there was an exciting world that didn't involve nursing. It took about two weeks, but Jacob finally realized that he was okay.

About a month later Jacob started giving me spontaneous hugs and kisses again. What a relief to be forgiven!

Knowing what I know now, would I do it again? Well, yes. But, I would restructure my life so that other stressors wouldn't be so huge and I would invest in a better breast pump. And, I'd probably put posters around the house to remind myself why nursing is so good for babies! At the very least, I have come to view breast feeding as God's way of making tired mothers sit down!