Forest of the Plains

Jacob has started crying every time a toy leaves his grasp. Never mind that he could pick the toy up with minimal effort – he prefers that someone else would pick it up and place it in his hand. And he would much rather scream until someone does what he wants instead of getting the toy himself. Since Jacob often does a 180-degree turn in his crib at night, we do not just hand him a toy. His body is able to move wherever he wants it to go.

This morning Jacob dropped a toy. His hand could reach it, but his fingers needed to move just right to pick it up. He screamed for the 3 minutes it took him to figure out how to get the toy. (At which point he promptly stopped screaming and started licking the toy.) I followed up with a “You got the toy! Good job!”

Then I read Entries In Life where he referenced an article on recent research about self-esteem. This is a long article, but definitely worth the time it takes to read!

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I really had to laugh at the part where they discuss everyone getting an award or trophy, no matter how well they did at an event. John and I recently were going through some of my childhood papers. We found some ribbons for placing 5th or 6th in Field Day events (there were five or six in each activity group). We also found some awards that were handed out at the end of the year. There were some general awards for achievement in various academic subjects. But, the best awards were for “Participation in Games Night” and “Cafeteria”.

Honestly. I have an award signed by the head cook and the principal that says:
“Terah Yoder has participated creditably in all activities and has put forth maximum effort and diligence in Cafeteria. In recognition of this accomplishment, this certificate is granted on this 27th day of May 1988.”

The best part is that I hated the cafeteria food and I always packed my lunch! I think that I may have received this award because I (along with all other fifth graders) helped serve seconds.

Just like the article says, kids can smell stupid or empty praise a mile away and it means nothing to them.

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I know a lot of people who have been praised for being “smart” and I wonder if these research findings hold true for them. I was always labeled as “smart” but when I reached 7th grade and started needing to study, my grades went down. I never developed good study skills, but instead choose classes and a major where I could succeed without them. Just like those “smart” kids who choose the easy puzzles. Very interesting stuff!